Psalm 23:1 (ESV) The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
The first meeting with the architect left me wondering if this old house could be redeemed, unlike my impression after the general session with Graham Builders which spoke of tearing down and rebuilding old single-wall houses like ours. The architect noted that sometimes the owner's assessment of their unsalvageable termite-damaged home was inaccurate. The next step, then, was to have him come on-site to do the assessment. He did so this past Wednesday, and his walk-through with camera in hand brought good news that the termite-eaten structure was still viable to renovate. Double walls would be built to encase the damage. It would be a complete redo, preserving and solidifying the outer shell while completely gutting the inner core. If we wanted to go forward to explore our reno options, we would need to secure a contract with Graham Builders for $2,000 to begin architectural drawings. After a night of consideration, we made the decision to do so.
An anxious mind awoke me at 3 am this morning. It stemmed not from the financial cost of renovation, but from thinking of the process of purging and storing of our contents, and the housing of us during the estimated 6-month reno that would be scheduled for early 2016. It is not that we don't have a place to go, but that our lifestyles will need to undergo renovations of their own to accommodate new living arrangements. How would we, could we, adapt to meet this challenge? I was concerned.
I began laying out my anxieties before the Lord, telling Him all that bothered me. I sought His comfort through my devotional, Henry Blackaby's Experiencing God Daily. I studied the commentary on Ephesians 4 from which Blackaby's thoughts on speaking truth to your neighbor were taken. How was this fitting into relieving my anxieties? And then I read a chapter on "The Lord Our Shepherd" from 19th Century author Hannah Whitall Smith's The God of All Comfort, examining what it meant to believe the words, "The Lord is my Shepherd." In her Quaker style, she noted that He has charged Himself with the keeping of us in the same manner as the shepherd cares for his sheep: Perhaps He sees that the best pastures for some of us are to be found in the midst of opposition or trials. Smith contends that if He leads us there, we may be sure they are green pastures for us, and that we will be strengthened by feeding on them. His strength and His skill are sufficient to meet every emergency that can possibly arise.
This is what I want: A simple home with a greatly functional kitchen and a dining area to entertain my family and friends. In Highland Park, we often invited seminary students and Hawaii friends and relatives passing through to dine with us in our small basement apartment where they sat around our dining room/kitchen, the largest room in our home. I was new to cooking and these gatherings served as the playground for new recipes. When we moved to our present home, we began hosting Bible Studies and dinners with friends until we got too busy and our home became broken. In this season of my life, I still have a passion for inviting others to dine with us as a forum for truly engaging with each other. In her book, Bread and Wine, Shauna notes, "What makes me feel alive and connected to God’s voice and spirit in this world is creating opportunities for the people I love to rest and connect and be fed at my table." I want that, too. But my wants are from my eyeview.
From His eyeview, it is the family, not the temporal structure, that most importantly needs to be sufficiently stable. Blackaby's unwitting quotation of "speaking the truth to our neighbor for we are members of one another" bears in me how clearly I must try to do this in relationships important to me, especially family ones. I am a collaborator who seeks unity, sometimes at the cost of averting truth. Through the renovation process there may be times when stating the truth to each other will be difficult, but doing so will deepen not divide our bond with each other. Let's dialogue on how we can do this well before the renovation begins.
Loving you,
Mom
The first meeting with the architect left me wondering if this old house could be redeemed, unlike my impression after the general session with Graham Builders which spoke of tearing down and rebuilding old single-wall houses like ours. The architect noted that sometimes the owner's assessment of their unsalvageable termite-damaged home was inaccurate. The next step, then, was to have him come on-site to do the assessment. He did so this past Wednesday, and his walk-through with camera in hand brought good news that the termite-eaten structure was still viable to renovate. Double walls would be built to encase the damage. It would be a complete redo, preserving and solidifying the outer shell while completely gutting the inner core. If we wanted to go forward to explore our reno options, we would need to secure a contract with Graham Builders for $2,000 to begin architectural drawings. After a night of consideration, we made the decision to do so.
An anxious mind awoke me at 3 am this morning. It stemmed not from the financial cost of renovation, but from thinking of the process of purging and storing of our contents, and the housing of us during the estimated 6-month reno that would be scheduled for early 2016. It is not that we don't have a place to go, but that our lifestyles will need to undergo renovations of their own to accommodate new living arrangements. How would we, could we, adapt to meet this challenge? I was concerned.
I began laying out my anxieties before the Lord, telling Him all that bothered me. I sought His comfort through my devotional, Henry Blackaby's Experiencing God Daily. I studied the commentary on Ephesians 4 from which Blackaby's thoughts on speaking truth to your neighbor were taken. How was this fitting into relieving my anxieties? And then I read a chapter on "The Lord Our Shepherd" from 19th Century author Hannah Whitall Smith's The God of All Comfort, examining what it meant to believe the words, "The Lord is my Shepherd." In her Quaker style, she noted that He has charged Himself with the keeping of us in the same manner as the shepherd cares for his sheep: Perhaps He sees that the best pastures for some of us are to be found in the midst of opposition or trials. Smith contends that if He leads us there, we may be sure they are green pastures for us, and that we will be strengthened by feeding on them. His strength and His skill are sufficient to meet every emergency that can possibly arise.
This is what I want: A simple home with a greatly functional kitchen and a dining area to entertain my family and friends. In Highland Park, we often invited seminary students and Hawaii friends and relatives passing through to dine with us in our small basement apartment where they sat around our dining room/kitchen, the largest room in our home. I was new to cooking and these gatherings served as the playground for new recipes. When we moved to our present home, we began hosting Bible Studies and dinners with friends until we got too busy and our home became broken. In this season of my life, I still have a passion for inviting others to dine with us as a forum for truly engaging with each other. In her book, Bread and Wine, Shauna notes, "What makes me feel alive and connected to God’s voice and spirit in this world is creating opportunities for the people I love to rest and connect and be fed at my table." I want that, too. But my wants are from my eyeview.
From His eyeview, it is the family, not the temporal structure, that most importantly needs to be sufficiently stable. Blackaby's unwitting quotation of "speaking the truth to our neighbor for we are members of one another" bears in me how clearly I must try to do this in relationships important to me, especially family ones. I am a collaborator who seeks unity, sometimes at the cost of averting truth. Through the renovation process there may be times when stating the truth to each other will be difficult, but doing so will deepen not divide our bond with each other. Let's dialogue on how we can do this well before the renovation begins.
Loving you,
Mom